When dancing, we are told to smile and maintain eye contact with our partner. Why is eye contact so important? Rachel Holland looks at the important role of it and suggests ways to hold you partner's gaze.
Good eye contact results in good communication on the dance floor. By maintaining it, partners appear symmetrical. Your head position, shoulders, arms, hips and legs are all synchronised and you are able to communicate and mirror each others feelings and movements for the music.
“Eye contact is so important, especially in dances such as the Rumba,” says Victoria Lawrence, who has been competing with partner Ian Sharpe for 13 years. “You are telling a story through the dance choreography, but you must also interact with your partner as a couple performing the dance together. If you fail to make good eye contact with your partner, you can lose the audiences attention. Your story will not be complete.” Debra Nicole Kee has been instructing social dancers for over 30 years. “The rule I use is ‘look where you want to go, before you get there, the toes will follow the nose’,” she says. “My belief has always been to use my eyes to convey what I’m feeling when I am dancing. If I am doing an exhibition, I like to make eye contact with the crowd and include them in the excitement of the dance. This reminds me that I am dancing for them, as well as myself and my partner. As I think back over my career, eye contact is something that grew as I developed more confidence in myself and my dancing.”
Self-Consciousness
However, it is quite common for dancers to experience difficulties in maintaining eye contact. In particular, beginner couples are often in danger of looking as though they are just going through the motions. “My instructor has told me that my main problem is that I don’t look at my partner enough,” says Ellen from Brisbane. “I have a lot of trouble with this. I either end up in fits of giggles or else I look away, usually down, too quickly. I just can’t seem to be able to hold the gaze.” Getting the giggles stems from self-consciousness; you are focusing too much on HOW you are feeling. As Bruce Lee is quoted as saying, “The consciousness of self is the greatest hindrance to the proper execution of all physical action.” Instead, try to shift the focus from what you are feeling to what you are DOING. You’ll be amazed at the difference, and so will your teachers. “When I first started dancing, one of the biggest challenges I faced was not looking at my partner,” says Marc, a dancer and theatre actor from New York, “especially during the Foxtrot or Waltz. I thought that not looking was correct, until a teacher put me straight whilst dancing the Cha Cha explaining that as it was more of a flirty dance, eye contact was important. One of the reasons some people find it hard to hold eye contact with their partners is because they feel awkward with the frank flirtation of some rhythm and Latin dances. The Rumba is a very sensuous dance, all about seduction in which the woman brings the man close to her with a look that spells ‘I want to caress you’ - then pushes him away, only to repeat this a moment later. It’s just the make-believe game that you play when you dance that particular dance, just like the ‘I want to make passionate love to you because we hate each other’ look of some Tangos, or the ‘Let me whisk you away to my castle in the sky’ look of Waltz,” adds Marc. “Every dance is a story.”
“As an actor, I’m used to opening myself emotionally to a partner on stage. It’s just a lot of theatrical illusion. It’s the same thing with dancing,” he adds. Ballroom instructor Don Tasanasanta suggests another helpful method: try focusing on your partner’s forehead. “The forehead is a step forward towards at least gaining better posture and balance,” he says. “Use this technique in practice sessions as you gradually get used to looking into your partner’s eyes. Try building up to regarding the eyes as your focal point. Before you know it, you’ll forget that you’re looking into your partner’s eyes and will be able to concentrate more on what you should be doing with your body.” It will also help if you consciously work on your eye contact with lots of different partners. Once you are used to doing it, eye contact with your partner will not feel so awkward.
Eyes Wide Shut
It can also be helpful to briefly close your eyes whilst dancing, in order to aid your concentration. “My partner and I often close our eyes whilst practicing, usually whenever we are feeling tense because of a new or fast move,” says one Ballroom dancer. “I tend to follow better with my eyes closed. I concentrate on his lead and don’t anticipate the next move.”
“Being needy for eye contact, I have problems when the leader’s head is out of my range of vision,” says dancer Mo from Scotland. “Seeing other couples on the dance floor and audience distracts my attention from the lead as I feel self-conscious and sometimes even dizzy. When this happens, I find it easiest to get my focus back by closing my eyes. It must look to the audience as if I’m really enjoying the close embrace. I recently tried Argentine Tango for the first time, and again I found it much easier to follow the lead when I closed my eyes.” George Pytlik, who runs www.dancesportmusic.com, warns that you must be careful with closing your eyes, but agrees that “it can be useful in practice for brief periods, while you work on specific issues such as turns or to ‘feel’ the step better.”
Faking It
How about if you are dancing with somebody who you lack chemistry with? What should you do when the look of smouldering passion doesn’t come naturally to you? Can you fake it? “I don’t think you CAN fake a look of smouldering passion,” says Marc. “Not if you think of eye contact in those terms. Passion is something that you feel, not something that you do, and if you don’t feel it, then it’s not going to be there. Feel the passion and the passion will naturally flow, making looking at your partner easier. You have got to love it! If you are playing and having fun, and you look at your partner, the joy just rolls out and relaxes you. Then you look marvellous!” says dancer Mark Tuson. Focus on something active, flirting with your partner, seducing your partner, playing with your partner, all things which put you in an active role. “I recently watched a championship performance by Misa Cigoy and Anastasia Novojilova,” says George Pytlik. “I was overwhelmed by the masterful way they used eye contact in both Latin and Standard. They looked at the audience exactly when it mattered most to connect with the people they were performing for. They also looked at each other when it mattered most, too. I know very few couples who can do this as well as they do.” Dancing is a lesson in letting go.
Add the eye contact and you add the chemistry; it helps turn the dance into something more.
